Below is Zavier' s 'Special Person' writing.
We are learning to describe in detail.
This means including deeper features such as:
- personal voice
- ideas that are important to the story
- a clear structure
- exciting vocabulary
Please support our learning by providing feedback in the form of compliments and wishes. This exemplar might be helpful .
My Special Person
My special person is my great grandfather Reggie.
Reggie is funny caring loving and brainy.
He has short hair like grass it is grey like a shield.
He has ginger glasses and old fashion clothes from England.
He never drank beer.
Reggie always believed in me. He was my best friend.
He loved sweets. He loved to drink cups of tea.
His favourite car was a Rolls Royce. He always said be careful there are a lot of woman drivers.
Reggie is the most special person in the world to me because he loves me.
5 comments:
Wow that looks amazing maybey next time dont use he a lot.i like how you used your suface features
Wow Zav that is amazing.
maybye next time you can use more catchy words instead of 'he' all the time.Great description of your uncle Reggie.
Miela - Rm14
WOW Zavier this rocks. Next time try not to ues he so much. but aprt from that it rocks
Wow thats brilliant but mabey next time dont use he all the time.I like how you used surface features.from charlotte.
Zavier,
I wish I met your grandfather... we could have had a discussion about women drivers!!!
You described your grandfather well, not just what he looked like... but special things about him - what he did, said and what your relationship was like.
Your ideas are linked to the story, the structure is a list of ideas that are simple, but descriptive and allow us to hear your voice... there is no doubt about how much you loved your grandad.
This is a lovely piece of work.
Well done!
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