Compliments and Wishes Please
Below is a snippet from our “Special Person” writing.
We are learning to describe in detail aspects of our person.
Please support our learning by providing feedback in the form of two compliments and one wish. This exemplar might be helpful.
Draft 1
My NaNN has gray hair tide up in a bun as well as Big Blue eyes the couler of the sea Plus old fashion cloths blue, green, red and gray She wouldint wear anything ales.
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7 comments:
Maringi,
I love the way you have shared descriptions of your nann. You have created a picture in my head of her. Well done. I hope you can share this with your family and chat about your writing in relation to your writing goal.
Keep up the great descriptions,
Mrs Logan
I agree with Mrs Logan you have used detail beautifully to paint a picture in my head of your Nann. At the moment all your writing is in one long sentence. Can you add surface features such as capitals and full-stops?
WOW maringi i loved it youv'e made amazing discriptions i now no what your nana looks like.
MAN YOUR GOOD! i liked your discription and now i what to see her.
and my wish to you is maby you should have a look at your spelling
You have a great description but I think you just need to work on your spelling. We still think you did a great description, we could see what she looked like.:)
Hey Maringi.
I like how you used simalies and you telled me what she weared.
Next time check your spelling and make sure you use full stops and the right use of the words.
Olivia.:)
Loved the way you described your Nana as only wearing a certain range of colours.I was watching them swirl about my head.Keep at your spelling but dont let it slow down those neat descriptions of yours. Mrs Ball
Loved the way you described your Nana as only wearing a certain range of colours.I was watching them swirl about my head.Keep at your spelling but dont let it slow down those neat descriptions of yours. Mrs Ball
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